Speaking of Brynlee, she is finally starting to kinda sorta a little bit warm up to daycare/school. I started her in daycare on August 5th so she could start getting used to the routine before I had to go to work. The last 2 weeks have been awful. She screams, cries, and clings to me. When I drop her off, she screams, "No I don't want it!" She gets so upset. Then when I pick her up, she runs to me crying. On her first day, I cried after I dropped her off. I didn't cry because I didn't want to leave her at school. I cried because she was so terrified. She did not want me to leave her and there I was doing exactly what she didn't want me to do. Leaving her with kids and teachers that she didn't know. We did visit the facility twice before she started going there full-time, but her little 2 year old mind didn't seem to remember that. All she was focused on was that I was leaving her and probably never coming back. I only left her there for a few hours while I cleaned house and started getting things ready to start working. Then the next day was the exact same way. And the next...and the next...
I have completely slacked off on running. I have such "Mommy Guilt" about her being so upset every day. (Yes, it's really. I have done lots of googling about the way I have been feeling about leaving her to do something for myself.) When I get home, I just want to hang out with her and reassure her that school is fun, Mommy HAS to go to work, and that I will always come get her. For the first week, she was GLUED to me from the moment I picked her up until the moment we went to bed. She has been cranky, emotional, and super grumpy. Her teachers said that she cries off and on all day long. Sometimes she just sits by herself at a table. Other times she sits on the floor and cries. They said she plays with toys here and there and only plays with a couple of the kids in her class. Then when other kids start getting picked up, she starts saying she wants to go home and asks where her mommy and daddy are. I know that she will be fine and it is taking time for her to get used to being in school again. Now she is at the age where she realizes that I can leave her (and vice versa) and that worries a little 2 year old mind.
Today was a little bit better. She was happy and talkative in the car on the way to school. We kept talking about Baby Laynea. We FINALLY get to see my new niece. My sister, her husband, and baby Laynea will be in Texas today! Brynlee is so excited to see Baby Laynea. She was talking about seeing the baby, Noni, Papa, Shelby, Cody and then she'd say, "Who else?" Ashley, Mark...then I'd have to tell her that Ashley and Mark won't be here. So she'd repeat her list of people that she gets to see tonight. :) She's so smart. When I dropped her off, I was telling her to tell her friends about Baby Laynea. It helped keep her calm, but she started crying when I started walking away. :( But at least she wasn't crying when we pulled up to school. Baby steps.
So hopefully she is starting to warm up to school and I can feel good about having my "me time" back. I just can't seem to shake the guilty feeling. I feel like I am away from her all day long and she just wants to spend time with me after work and school. I am happy to say that I haven't gained though because I am still doing pretty well (not perfect) with my eating. My weight has been fluctuating between 199.6-200.4 since I started working again. So I know my weight will start going back down as soon as I get back into running!
Okay, that's a nice little update so now I've got to get some work done!
No comments:
Post a Comment