Grandpa Jim

Brynlee is starting to get to the age/point where she understands relationships...sort of. She understands that Uncle Bubba (Kyle), Aunt Ashley, and Aunt Shelby are Mommy's brother and sisters. She also seems to get that Uncle Eric and Aunt Lacey are Daddy's brother and sister. She still refers to Baby Laynea (cousin) as her little sister though. One thing she can't quite grasp is that Noni is Mommy's Mommy and NawNaw is Daddy's Mommy. Nope, she hasn't figured that out yet. If I try to explain it to her, she kind of gets mad and says, "NO NONI IS MY NONI!!!"

One thing I find funny is that she LOVES her grandpas. She calls my step-dad Paw Paw, Joey's Dad Grandpa, Joey's step-dad Poppy, and Joey's grandpa Papa. She will tell me, "Paw Paw is my favorite" and then the next day, "Grandpa is my favorite" and then "Poppy is my favorite". Basically, whichever grandpa she is around at the moment is her favorite grandpa EVERRRR. She is definitely "Paw Paw's/Grandpa's/Poppy's/PaPa's girl". She runs to them. To be honest, I love when we do family gatherings because Brynlee clings to them, LOL. 

Grandpa and BB feeding the ducks

Brynlee, Paw Paw, and Noni

Poppy, Brynlee, and Ainsley

Recently, my Auntie Edna (dad's sister) came to Texas for her college graduation. We met up for dinner and she showed us a picture of my mom, dad, and brother when my brother was a baby. We showed the picture to Brynlee and I choked up not knowing how to explain to her who my dad was. She'll never meet him and I don't really have that many pictures of him to share with her. I am not sure if my mom caught my hesitation to explain or if she took the opportunity to get to talk about him, but she was quick to save the situation. She pointed to him and said, "That's your Grandpa Jim!" Brynlee just asked who the other two people were and then kept repeating, "That's my Bubba! That's my Noni!" So it didn't phase her to see her Grandpa Jim, but it did phase me. I will tell her about him someday, but right now she just won't get it.

It does make me sad that I will not have pictures of them together. It makes me sad that she won't get to go out on his boat, get chased along the dock until she jumps or falls in the lake (been there, done that), or go fishing with him. She won't get to eat his homemade deer jerky, ride in his pickup belting out "Sweet Home Alabama", or watch him dance like an idiot. It does hurt my heart that he won't meet my awesome little girl. I mean, she's pretty funny and super cute.

I am sure this is many years away, but someday she will be curious about him. Someday she will want to know what happened to him. Someday she will want to hear stories and I will have plenty to tell her about her Grandpa Jim. For now, I will just cherish the fact that she has 4 grandpas who are very involved in her life. And each one is her favorite.

Littering

There are a lot of things I hate. You know the usual sucky things like child abuse and neglect, sex offenders, stepping in poop, etc. But I hate littering! I hate to see people throw shit out of their windows. I hate to see people open a wrapper, a package, whatever and just throw the trash on the ground. People are lazy and lazy pisses me off, too.

I work at a community college and as I was leaving after a long day of dealing with crap, I see this...

Some idiot must have thought he was being SO FUNNY to put his slurpee cup on the ground beside the trash can. First of all, not funny. Stupid actually. Secondly, how lazy! That means that someone else (me) had to pick up that cup and throw it away. I couldn't just let it sit there.

I also hate going to the local parks because there's trash everywhere. I understand that trash gets blown in the wind and things like that. Last year, most of our local parks were PACKED on the weekend for Memorial Day BBQs. We went to one of the the parks on Memorial Day and it was disgusting. Trash and food were everywhere from the weekend festivities. Plates, hot dogs, sausage, cups, candy, balloons, firecrackers, everything. The city does a great job of cleaning up, but their job wouldn't be so difficult if people weren't so disgusting and lazy. There's trash cans all throughout the parks yet people will just toss their stuff everywhere. If I plan to have a celebration at a park, I bring my own trash bags so that the trash cans at the park don't overflow. You would think other people would do the same thing.

Cigarettes. I hate them in general, but I hate when people toss them out the window and throw them on the ground. They are ugly and they are gross. I do not want my child picking up someone's used cigarettes! Our pups (mostly the little one) keeps getting under our deck and dragging out stuff from under there. I kept wondering why I kept seeing Coors Light cans in our backyard. I talked to Joey about it and he said that the guy who owned the house before us drank Coors Light (he was drinking it every time we met him) and he must have been throwing the cans under the deck. There's also tons of beer bottle caps under there! Who does that?? We have a trash can on the deck so when we have people over, we can throw our trash in the trash can instead of...under the deck.

If you do any of these things, STOP IT! Take pride in your environment! Be respectful of our land and stop making it ugly. When I see people litter, I rarely keep my mouth shut even if I am just mouthing them from my car because they are too far away to hear me. I'm like a yapping Chihuahua.

Cooking

I am always looking for new, semi-healthy recipes to cook. I use Skinnytaste a lot and have liked almost every recipe that I have tried from that website. If you have not heard of that website, check it out. She has a cookbook coming out later this year and I am planning to buy it soon. As I was browsing some of the blogs I read on Bloglovin', I came across a recipe for Pork Chops & Gorgonzola Gravy. I saved it for later, but knew I would want to make it for dinner soon. I showed it to Joey and he said it sounded great. I put it on the menu for this week. I made the chops with a side of baked red potatoes and fresh green beans. I tried this seasoning packet from HEB for red potatoes. It was a mix of olive oil, balsamic, and some other stuff. I can't remember or find the brand! But it was good. I could easily just season the potatoes myself, but I wanted to try out the pre-made seasoning packet. The fried onions on top were awesome. I think I put a little too much cheese in the "gravy". Joey had two chops plus he covered a piece of bread in the sauce so I think he liked it. :) Unfortunately, the potatoes needed about another 5-8 minutes of cook time, but the chops and gravy were ready and we didn't want to wait. Brynlee even ate her pork chops and some of the cheese gravy. We're still working on getting her to eat more veggies, but she loves fruit!

Sometimes I get in a cooking rut. I want to be creative while eating healthy, but sometimes I am just too tired after work. When I am too tired, we usually end up eating fast food or crap around the house. What a waste of money. I am sometimes jealous of the women who say their husbands do the cooking! I enjoy cooking so I definitely wouldn't want to NEVER cook, but it would be nice for my hubby to cook some nights. He is good about helping me, if I need it. Last night, he offered to handle the potatoes and green beans while I made the pork chops and gravy. Then he cleaned up the kitchen. So I am not complaining. It would just be nice to not have 100% of the cooking responsibilities. :) We also need to be better about eating leftovers instead of eating a different meal every day. I typically make enough food for me to bring leftovers the next day (Joey typically doesn't have access to heating his food), but then I don't want to eat it AGAIN that night.

I love using my crock pot. Absolutely love it. I love coming home to a house that smells like dinner. I like that it cuts down on the preparation time after work. I feel like I can relax a little. I just hate that I haven't found very many recipes that can cook for at least 9 hours, usually longer, while I am at work. So I am on a mission to find recipes that can withstand being in a crock pot for so long.

I have friends who have said they don't cook and that their husbands/boyfriends aren't very good at cooking either. So you eat out every day?? I don't understand how people just...don't...cook. You mean, you don't cook anything? Like not even spaghetti? Spaghetti is one of the easiest meals in the world to make. We ate a lot of spaghetti when I was a kid and I still love it. We don't eat it as often because we really don't eat a ton of red meat for dinner and I just don't think turkey is that good in spaghetti. I also don't understand when people say they eat zero vegetables or they don't like any vegetables at all. There's SO MANY vegetables, how can you like none of them? There's also SO MANY different ways to cook and eat vegetables. Hell, we add shredded or grated Parmesan cheese to most of the veggies we make. Who doesn't like cheese? :) My best friend is the only person I have ever known who doesn't like salad. When I met her many years ago and found that out, I was extremely surprised. I have never heard of a person not liking salad. She has branched out now and does eat salads though. I mean some people probably don't understand how I don't like mushrooms so I guess it's the same thing...except mushrooms are a disgusting fungus so it's totally not the same thing.

Who does the cooking in your house? Do you have home cooked meals every day? What about leftovers?

Friendship

"A good friend is a connection to life, a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world." -Lois Wyse, Author

I like to think that I am a nice, fun person, but I have a hard time making (good) friends as an adult. Everyone is busy. Everyone has their own lives, jobs, kids (or not), and other friends. It was easy to make friends before adulthood set in. It seems like as adults, friends are placed into categories. Such as work friends, church friends, mom friends, kid-less friends, concert friends, college friends, high school friends, sports/activities friends, bar friends, relative-friends, etc. It's hard to mix the groups because then you are mixing people who may or may not have things in common. This often leads to disaster. Sometimes it's best to keep the friendship groups separate. Why is it so difficult to make and keep good friends as an adult? It wasn't this hard until after college!

I've had some really great friends in my 28 years. I grew up with great friends. I met great friends when I moved to a new place after my Dad died. I met lifelong friends in college. I am one of those people who reminisces, who misses my friends when we don't see or speak to each other often. I've also lost plenty of friends. Maybe we live too far apart, maybe we are at different points in our lives, perhaps there was a big fight, maybe the friendship was one-sided. Every friend I've had, I cherish in some way for very unique reasons.  Every friend has taught me something. As an adult, most of my friends I have met through my jobs. I have been lucky and that some of these people have become my really good friends. Some of them I don't see often. Some of them I don't speak with often, but they are still my friends. I just hate when really good friends turn into acquaintances. In my opinion, your true friends should be there for you through all stages of your life even if your stages don't match up. I lost a best friend because we were in different stages of our lives. This friend no longer wanted to be friends with me. I was crushed, devastated, destroyed. This is a friend who I had known for many years and been through so much together. This is a friend who I talked to daily through phone, email, and text. This is a friend who I loved, appreciated, and respected. We lost touch for a long time. We did start to talk again, but it is not the same. We don't speak often and we haven't spoken on the phone once since we came back in contact. We're more like acquaintances now instead of best friends. I miss this friend. What happens to these friendships? Are they just gone? Can you fix them? Are they worth the extra work?

One thing I hate is that I always seem to make friends with flaky people. I don't know why. I'm not flaky. I mean, obviously sometimes you have to cancel for various reasons and I am guilty of that, but I seem to make friends with people who ALWAYS cancel. It really bothers me. It makes me feel as though I am not important enough to these people. I try to weed out friendships like this, but it seems as though this type of person is always drawn to me. Maybe I put off a vibe that says, "WALK ALL OVER ME!" I don't think I do. I'm a pretty strong person, but I must be doing something wrong to keep attracting this type of friend!

As a married adult, it's hard to make friends with uncoupled people. Joey and I don't have to do everything together, but there are times that we want "couple friends" and I know other married couples who feel the same way. It's fun to go out with another couple without kids. It's also fun to have other couples over with their kids. "Couple friends" can be difficult though. What if Joey's friend's wife doesn't like me (or we don't have anything in common)? Or maybe my husband doesn't like my friend's husband and vice versa? That can really put a strain on a friendship! I have a friend who I adore. My husband really likes her husband as well. Her daughter is the same age as Brynlee and they are so cute when they play together. We don't see them that often since we live about 1.5 hours from each other. I also know that I can hang out with her with just the kids and I know that I can hang out with her with just the two of us. That's the kind of friendship I love. We have a lot in common, but we are also different in many ways. Yet we seem to have this bond. <3

I know TV shows are just made up, but I am always jealous when I watch a show where a woman has a group of girlfriends (Hello Sex and the City) to call and hang out with. I don't currently have that, but have always longed for that type of friendship with a close knit small group of women. 

I have one amazing, wonderful best friend who I can lose touch with for many months and then call her and it feels as though we are still good as new. We just spend the time on the phone catching up instead of questioning why we went so many months without speaking. We don't see each other often. We actually haven't seen each other since January 2013 for her daughter's first birthday party. We're 5 hours apart so making the time and travel arrangements to see each other can be difficult. She's one of those people that I will always love. I know I could call her with something small or something big and she'd listen and be there for me. She knows I'd return the favor. The only thing that would make this friendship better would be closing the distance between our cities! :)

To be honest, I feel like social media has drastically impacted friendships. Instead of making an effort to remember people's birthdays, Facebook tells you. Instead of calling a friend, you look at their Facebook/Twitter/Instagram page. Instead of sending a handwritten letter, party invitation, birthday/congratulations/condolences card, you send a message or invitation via Facebook. Don't get me wrong, I love social media sites. I love being able to see pictures my friends post and just check in with them whenever I want, but I miss old fashioned friendships. I miss talking on the phone for hours at a time (who has time for that with a toddler around) with my friends. I miss meeting up to really know everything going on in your friends' lives. I miss having a glass of wine over dinner with friends. I miss the face-to-face interaction of friendships.

On the other hand, I love social media. I am part of a "Mommy board" that has moved our group to Facebook for easier communication. I've known most of these women for almost 4 years now. We all started talking because we were pregnant at the same time. There's about 50+ "regular" members of the group. Sure, I don't consider all of them friends and there's a few that I don't like at all (and they don't like me). But a few of them I consider lifelong friends. Some of them I've never met and maybe never will (one of my favorites lives in New Zealand), but we're friends nonetheless. My husband makes fun of me when I talk about my mommy group friends. He always says, "Oh you mean your ONLINE friends...they aren't your friends", etc. They are my friends though. They were there for me through pregnancy, the birth of my child, the year Joey was so sick, moving to a new city, my extensive disappointing job search, and much more. They listen. They offer advice. We joke, we laugh, we share. They are my friends.

The point of this post is this: when you meet good friends, cherish them. Put in the effort to grow and nurture your friendships. Call your friends. Send a card. Remember their birthdays without Facebook reminding you. Sit down for dinner together. Be there for each other during all stages of your lives. And most importantly: Love Each Other.

Mother's Day

I have done a lot of things in my life that I am proud of. I was the first one in my family to graduate from college. I worked for many years helping at-risk youth stay in school. Now I work for a non-profit case managing college students to eliminate barriers they may have that may cause them to drop out of college. I bought a house. I am a pretty great wife to my husband. I've been a great friend, an awesome sister, and a good daughter. But most of all, I am proud to be a Mother. I know that not all women want to be a Mother, but I am glad that I am one. I love watching my daughter grow on a daily basis. I love listening to her stories, her excitement, her innocence. She is so smart, funny, charming, and sassy. I love watching her act like me. She is so full of personality. I love seeing her sleepy face first thing in the morning and asking, "Where's my Daddy?" I tell her he's at work and she says, "Lemme check" and walks through the house just to make sure he's not hiding from her. I enjoy listening to her sing and combine multiple songs into one tune. I love everything about her, but what I love most is that she is mine.
One of my favorite days of my life will always be the day I became a Mother. Becoming a Mom is hard, stressful work. A woman carries her baby for (hopefully) 9 months. In that time, you feel sickness, exhaustion, heart burn, strange movements, baby kicks. You watch your belly grow and wonder if you're gaining too much or too little weight. You worry that you aren't doing everything "right". Foods to avoid, managing a healthy diet, drinking enough water, remembering to take vitamins, and exercising. What if he/she comes early? Do I have everything I need for the baby? What if something is wrong? What if I am not a good mother? A lot goes through the mind of an expectant mother. Then there's labor. That's tough enough on its own. To get pain medication or not, what if I need a c-section, what if I deliver on the side of the highway? My labor and delivery was tough. I'll spare you the details, but my husband thought he was going to be a single dad. Thankfully, he's not.

Then once the baby is here, bring on the Mommy Wars. Breastfeeding vs formula feeding, co-sleeping vs crib, disposable diapers vs cloth diapers, the list goes on and on. Are the decisions I am making best for my child? I am lucky to be part of a very supportive Mommy group, but even within our group, there are many different opinions, viewpoints, and parenting styles. Being a parent is tough. You have to stand up for what you believe is right for your child and family.

Brynlee just fits perfectly into our lives. It honestly feels like she was made to be my child, if that makes sense. I can't imagine her being any different. She's mine. I hope one day, when she becomes a Mom, she will understand my deep love for her.

I cannot believe she is almost 3. When I call her "baby", she always tells me she's not a baby. She's a big girl. She's almost 3. I get it, sweet child. I do. But you'll always be my baby.

Best,

"Time does not pass, it continues." -Marty Rubin

Wow! 2014 is flying by. I have not posted in so long. I wish I could say it's because we've been gallivanting around the world taking vacation after vacation, but I am way too boring (and poor) for that.

Work has been going well. I really like the (college) students I work with as well as (most of) my co-workers. There's a lot of changes and expansions happening to my department so work has definitely kept me busy. My boss asked me to be in charge of coordinating our curriculum/workshops and to be the superuser for our new database. So I've been kept busy with those things as well.

I haven't been running because I injured my right foot. It became really swollen at the beginning of February and it was very painful. I could hardly walk at all! See how swollen it is? It looks like a Shrek foot.

I had to choose a PCP to go to so after I picked one, I couldn't get a new patient appointment until March 5th! By the time the appointment rolled around, my foot had been hurting for an entire month. I got checked out and my doctor wanted me to get an x-ray. She ruled out a variety of issues just by looking and feeling it so she assumed it was something internal. I got an x-ray and waited over a week for the results! That was aggravating. The radiology department called me back and said I have a bone spur in my heel, but found NOTHING to be wrong with the toe joint area. That made me even more mad because I knew something was wrong. My PCP wanted me to see a podiatrist so they set up the referral. My appointment was set for April 7th. So two months after the initial pain started. I went to the doctor and he was surprised that my x-ray report said nothing was wrong. He decided to do another x-ray in office. Within 4 minutes, he told me that my medial sesamoid bone was broken. 

The sesamoid bones in your toe are responsible for absorbing the pressure on your feet from walking, standing, etc. When these bones are injured, walking/standing/running, etc. are all very painful. Sesamoid injuries are common in athletes such as runners, dancers, and soccer players. The sesamoid bones also stabilize the big toe joint. Needless to say, an injury here is very painful. The doctor told me to wear tennis shoes every day, all day for 2 weeks and then come in for a follow up appointment. I went back in and I felt like nothing had changed. He decided to put me in a walking shoe for a month and then go back for a follow up on May 29th. I feel like it has drastically improved. I still can't pull the toe upward without pain, but I feel less pain when walking. I am hoping to get back to the gym very soon!

Brynlee is growing like a little weed. She went through a few months of being really whiny and had a bad attitude, but she seems to be over that. We've really been working on manners (and she's potty trained, too!) and she has just been so sweet. Here's a few recent pictures of her:

January 2014

February 2014

Brynlee & her friend Savannah March 2014

Mommy and BB April 2014

Brynlee Easter 2014

Her hair is SO long. She has started telling me how she wants her hair done. "Mommy TWO braids!", "Mommy put my pony tail over HERE!" She's so funny, sweet, and smart! She loves to sing and dance. I want to put her in dance classes after she turns 3. Speaking of 3, I can't believe she will be 3 at the end of July! I am not sure what to do for her birthday this year. I was thinking it'd be fun to go to one of the bounce house/gigantic slide places around here, but when she got in the bounce house at KidsFest last weekend, she did NOT like being in there. I think she was scared of all of the other kids jumping around her. :/

This girl LOVES fruit. She wants a banana every morning and would eat an entire container of strawberries, mixed berries, mango, grapes, etc. if I would let her. She also loves to sneak into the fridge and snatch the container of grape tomatoes. She is definitely her Mother's child! She also learned how to say her full name. When I ask her what her last name is, she says her first and middle name. So I ask her what her "other" last name is and she says, "Metrosian". It's so cute!

We got a new puppy. His name is Judd. I don't really have a good picture of his face because he wouldn't sit still. I tried to post the picture I do have of him, but they won't upload for some stupid reason. After Roscoe died, I really didn't want to ever get another dog. We still have Roxie and I know she's lonely. My sister rescued a little pup and my husband decided to take him in. This dog is DESTRUCTIVE! I know he's a puppy, but dang! He chewed up all of the cushions on our patio chairs. :( The entire yard looked like it snowed stuffing. I should have taken a picture of that!

For Mother's Day, I decided to get my siblings together and surprise our Mom with professional family pictures. It was quite the task to trick her into dressing "springy" and showing up on time for the pictures, lol! My step-dad tricked her and told her they were going to a brunch with his work. He told her the theme was "spring" so that she would wear bright colors. He even told her the original outfit she picked out wasn't "springy" enough! She was mad about that, but the outfit she picked out was beautiful. When she showed up at the Fort Worth Botanic Gardens and saw all of us waiting for her, she was pretty shocked. We told her that we were getting professional pictures taken! She was very excited. I should be getting the pictures soon so be on the lookout. :)

Anyway, that's what's been going on with The Petrosians! :)

Best,