What the heck is going on here? Oh I know, I failed. In March 2012, I was 8 months post partum. Now I am almost 18 months post partum and still in the same boat (a slightly worse boat) than I was almost a year ago! I recently made a post about being "diagnosed" as pre-diabetic. I said that I was going to get my butt in gear, lose weight, be healthy, and reverse that "diagnosis". Have I done that? No. If anything, I had a 2 week vacation in which I did nothing but hang out with Brynlee all day and eat pasta with butter and parmesan cheese. Sure, I did some cleaning. Sure, I had fun hanging out with my daughter. BUT I should have used those 2 weeks to get active. To develop a routine. To eat healthy.
"Resolutions are popular because everyone feels they could use a little improvement!"-Marilu Henner.
That is very true. I have lots of room for improvement (pun intended). We took some great family Christmas pictures in December. Would you like to know how many pictures of the three of us that I posted to Facebook? Two. We had a few more that were pretty good...of Joey and Brynlee. But I did not want to post those pictures. I did not want my Facebook friends to focus on me in those pictures. I did not want them to focus on my huge belly bulging underneath my shirt. I did not want them to focus on the uncomfortable look on my face. I did not want them to focus on me at all. To be honest, I would have been happy just getting pictures of Joey and Brynlee. Okay, that's not entirely true. I would not have liked that very much.
I dreaded the holiday season this year because it also meant my youngest sister's baby shower and my middle sister's wedding. I didn't dread those occasions because I am not happy for them so don't get it twisted. I dreaded these occasions because it meant LOTS of pictures...with me in them. I was a bridesmaid for my sister's wedding. Luckily, I at least FELT like I looked good in my dress. My sister-in-law did my hair and makeup, which looked incredibly sexy so I received numerous compliments. Yet, I do not want to see the photos. I wish I could be cropped out of them!
I need to stop dwelling on the past, but I feel that it is important to acknowledge the pattern I've got going on here. If I am not happy (which I am clearly not) then I have to change it. If I don't change it, I have no room to complain next year. {Well, hopefully I will be pregnant next January. :)}
"Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right!" -Oprah Winfrey
This year, I am going to get it right. Do you have any resolutions you'd like to share?
If you want a new friend on myfitnesspal . . . my username is cathyjanew. :-)
ReplyDeleteGood luck this year! I know you've had lots of struggles this year so I'm sure it was hard. I think as long as we keep trying, one of these days we'll make it stick. :-)