How I wish, How I wish you were here...

As the time gets closer and closer to have my very own daughter, I really miss my Dad. I have a really hard time "blogging" about him because I always end up crying. I am sure it will be even harder with all of these pregnancy emotions and hormones running through my body. 

It's been almost 10 years (October 26, 2001) since he passed. Father's Day is always really hard for me. For Mother's Day, we bought 4 Mother's Day cards: My mom, Joey's mom, Joey's step-mom, and Joey's Nana. Then I received a bunch of "First Mother's Day" cards as well. But for Father's Day, we bought for Joey's Dad, Step-Dad, and Papa, but I don't have my own Dad to buy for. That makes me sad. To be honest, when I was choosing a Father's Day card for Joey, I was looking for a card that I would give my Dad if he were here. It made me feel a little better...and then even worse.

I know that he would be really excited for me and Joey and I also know that he'd really like the man I fell in love with. I really think they'd get along really well. I'm also pretty sure Joey would make fun of my dad because he always liked Zimas, LOL. When I buy baby outfits that say anything about Grandpa, it makes me sad that they aren't referring to my Dad. I know I'll get to tell Brynlee all about him, but I don't even have many pictures to show her. 

I just can't help but think about all of the things he has missed out on over the years and not only with me, but with my siblings. He's missed tons and tons of birthdays, 4 high school graduations, 2 college graduations, "big kid" jobs, moving to new cities, 3 weddings, first homes, countless holidays, too many dinners, and just hanging out with his kids. Soon he will miss out on the birth of my first child and his first grandchild.

I always notice different things that Joey and his siblings get from his parents and grandparents. Brynlee will be able to pick up on all of those things from her Dad's side of the family, but she will miss out on those things from my side. I'll be able to show her that my skin and hands are noticeably similar to my mom's and that my skin color definitely comes from her as well. She won't be able to see my dad in person and see that I look so much like him. This big honking nose with a huge bump? Yep, comes from my Dad. These high cheekbones? Yep, Dad had 'em, too. Crazy blood veins? Yeah, Dad again! I will be able to tell her about going to the lake in my Dad's boat, him teaching me how to play softball, and the first time I ever went deer hunting. I'll have stories about being country bumpkins and four-wheelers, go-carts, and the dock Dad built us out at the "tank".

Brynlee will definitely hear about her Grandpa, but it'd be much better if he were just here.

34 Weeks....What???

I cannot believe that I am finally 34 weeks pregnant! It's amazing that I will be considered full term in 3 weeks! Holy crap. We found out 30 weeks ago that we are expecting and I remember how excited, nervous, and anxious I felt then. I still have those exact same emotions (add in exhaustion and scared as well). We're pretty much ready for little Brynlee to get here. We finished the nursery except Joey still needs to paint the changing table to match our furniture. I am hoping he will get that completed before I am 36 weeks so I don't feel so unprepared for her arrival. I had so much fun decorating the nursery and I look at it every day. I can't wait for her to come home to her room (I know she won't CARE about her room, but we do). I am ready for her to be here and apparently Joey is, too. He told me yesterday that he can't wait for baby bear to get here. :) I absolutely love when he says things like that to me. It makes me fall crazy in love with him all over again. *sigh*

Everything is going pretty well with my appointments. I had one yesterday and I lost 1 pound in 2 weeks. I really don't know how because I feel and look humongous. So my total weight gain is 2 pounds so far. I am hoping that I won't gain much during the last couple of weeks and then it will be much easier to lose the baby weight + more after I have her.

As far as the gestational diabetes, my fasting, breakfast, and lunch numbers are great. My dinner numbers are really sporadic. So after I talked to my OB and he looked at my numbers, he decided to put me on Glyburide which is an oral medicine to help make my body more sensitive to insulin. I have to take one every day with breakfast and hopefully it will make a difference for my night numbers. I started it today so we'll see!

I am down to my weekly appointments. I go back next Tuesday and will schedule an ultrasound to check on baby's size and check everything out. I may or may not end up getting an induction date. I sure hope so!

I was going to add some pictures of the nursery for you, but Blogger is being fishy today (or it's my internet). So if you have me on Facebook, I have an album on there so go check it out!