On Monday, March 13, 2017, many people gathered to celebrate the life of and mourn the loss of a great lady. Joey's Nana passed away one week ago today. She had a long 6 years of dealing with many health issues. Unfortunately, it all just became too much for her body to handle. This is the first time that I really feel that I have lost a grandparent. I did not grow up with a close relationship with any of my grandparents; some of them would rather deny that me and my siblings even exist. My dad's grandfather passed away when I was in 7th grade, but he was elderly while I was growing up so I do not feel that I really had a relationship with him. My mom's Dad passed away as well, but I hadn't seen him since I was a little kid so I did not really feel that I lost someone. For the last 9 years, Nana has been my Nana. She has included me in all family gatherings, celebrated my birthday, etc. I have many memories with her. I have shed quite a few tears. It has been very difficult to see Joey, his Mom, Aunts, cousins, and siblings experience such a loss. It has also been difficult to see Papa go through this. I have never seen my husband cry until now. It has been difficult to explain Nana's death to Brynlee. She chose not to go to Nana's funeral because she said she did not want to feel sad and cry. I understand where she is coming from. Brynlee is a very thoughtful and smart little girl. She does not want to have sad memories of Nana--only good ones. The night before Nana passed away, I sat with Brynlee and told her that Nana is very sick and we will not be able to see her again. The next day Nana passed away and Brynlee drew a picture for Nana at school. She said that it is her playing with Nana while she is in Heaven. (Part of the picture is hard to see because it looks like she drew their bodies in a very light color.) She told us that she wanted to give the note to Nana. She got an envelope and wrote, "To: Nana From: Brynlee 16." (she included her locker number as they do at school) and placed the picture in the envelope. She asked Joey if she could give the note to Nana. With Papa's blessing, Joey placed the note in Nana's casket at her funeral.
As we all got together to talk about Nana and help each other through the grief, we looked at many photo albums that Nana had. It was both an enjoyable and saddening experience to sit together and look at so many photos because Nana is no longer here to take, print, sort, and label so many pictures. She loved to travel and took pictures of everything. Nana always had many photos displayed in the house. While looking at the photos, I pondered my recent lack of blog posting.
I take pictures of the kids frequently. I post them to social media frequently as well (maybe too much). I enjoy the TimeHop app and the "On this day" feature of Facebook. I enjoy these because I often fill my phone photo albums and have to transfer the pictures to my laptop. I don't always look back at the pictures so it is nice to have a reminder of the outfits, the time we spend together, and how quickly my kids are growing. But on that note, I often forget to print pictures and display them: in my house, in my office, etc. For example, I started a new job (more on that later) and I have 3 pictures of the girls displayed. None of these pictures are recent. I keep reminding myself to bring some recent pictures.
I also occasionally look back and read my blog posts. It has helped me to remember when various milestones with the kids have happened. (It has also reminded me how many times I have failed at weight loss, but that's neither here nor there.) Poor Makenna, I haven't posted or made any updates since her first birthday. Now she is 2 years and 3 months old. I will update on her soon.
As we all mourn the loss of Nana, it is helping me to make my small, crazy family a priority. We never truly know how much time we have with someone so it is important to make the best of the time, take pictures, and display the pictures. Documenting the experiences help to get through the grief and great loss that is just part of life.
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