Disappointment

I just went through an extensive interview process for a job that I really wanted that lasted almost a month. I found out today that I did not get the job. I have applied for over 60 jobs, interviewed at 6 places, and still no job. This is the second time that I was told that it was down to me and one other person. I am not sure if that is something that I want to hear. I think I would rather hear that it was down to 5 people and I didn't move on in the interview process for whatever reason. It is very difficult to hear that ONE person beat me out of the job. It just makes me wonder what I could have done better, ya know? I feel like I did everything that I possibly could to impress them and prove that I would be awesome for the position. I was told today that it was a very difficult decision and came down to the other person having more case management experience. She said my references said amazing things about me and that I am very qualified for the position...obviously since I went so far in the interview process. She asked if she could keep my resume because they have applied for grants and if they are accepted then there will be more positions opening. Also, there's more programs at this particular company. I was just interviewing for one position within one program at the company. In my head, I thought, "Yeah sure, keep my resume..." Then she said that she knows some employers say they will keep your resume, but she really means that she wants to keep my resume. I believe in not burning any bridges and hope that a position does open up there as I feel it is an organization that I would love to work for.

To say that I am disappointed in this latest development is an understatement. I just happened to be at mine and Brynlee's second play date with some very nice Moms when I got the call. It took a lot of willpower not to burst out in tears right then and there. How embarrassing would that have been? Thank God, I kept it together and Brynlee didn't throw a huge fit when we left. Normally I would handle my emotions in a very unhealthy way. I would probably go to Taco Bell or some other fast food restaurant (Hello Rosa's!), get a bunch of food, and go home and pig out while watching trashy TV. Then I would probably cry my eyes out and then take a nap. The LAST thing I would think about would have been working out. Healthy, right?

You know what I want to do to deal with the disappointment and sadness that I am feeling? Go for a run. Did I cry? Yes. Do I still feel like crying? Of course. But instead of instantly thinking of stuffing my emotions with food, I feel like running the emotions out of my body. I think that is awesome news. I have posted before that you have to change the mental before the physical. I 100% believe that.

I know that I would have came home today, put on my running clothes, and taken Brynlee out in the jogging stroller if it wasn't SO HOT here right in the middle of the afternoon. Plus, I needed to get in the house to feed us lunch and walk Paige's dog. Running at 12:30pm while it's 92 outside? I'll pass.

I'm not going to lie though. A bottle of wine sounds great. But I know that I don't want to drink the calories nor do I want to have a wine hangover. Wine always gives me a massive headache. I may have a glass tonight after I work out. Maybe I'll wear my Bondi Band that says...